Cheat cheat cheat...

Week 5 was a bit CHEATY here in my house. *sigh* I went all that time without cheating, cause I knew it would mess up my diet, but then I DID cheat, and it didnt mess it up and I still lost... so now part of my brain is thinking "HEY I can eat a few crackers, and Ill be ok..." Or other various things that it decides I want a bite of. I think once you open the "cheat door" it stays open.
I still am debating how far I want to go on this plan. Obviously with buying a house, we need our money elsewhere, but on the other hand... I REALLY want to keep losing FAST so I can wear my smaller summer clothes in a couple months. Im figuring if I lose 10 lbs in April and 10 lbs in May Ill be fitting in quite a bit of it... Then I can start working out, and transitioning onto another more "real" plan. On the other hand... I cant be paying for this food, and then cheating. It doesnt make any sense!

So needless to say... NO CLUE!!!

I dug out much smaller tankini top that I wore about 6 or 7 years ago (yikes, that was a long time ago) and hung it up on the outside of my pantry... so if you come over and think Im odd, there is a reason its there lol! When I stumble to the pantry to munch on some crackers I will see it there and say WAIT A MINUTE!!!! Crackers wont help you fit in that... and hopefully then I will turn around and get a glass of water instead. LMAO!!!!

Sigh!

And then it all came crashing down

Well it was bound to happen... especially after my "oooooh Im not craving anything" post. I swear its my kids fault. LMAO! (jk) I have more trouble on the weekends when they are home, and here I am with kids home on spring break, and I LOST it today!!!! Did fine, till we were headed home from errands at 1 pm, drove through chick fil a to grab lunch for the kids, and MAN it smelled SO GOOD. So I started mentally having a pity party about why I couldnt have it, and how it wasnt fair, and bla bla bla.... so anyways, I got home and ate a few dill pickles to try and NOT eat anything else, but it didnt do it. I had an itch I had to scratch. :( unfortunately, the fat girl in me likes to RUN down the hill if I happen to step off course... so my one french fry I stole from Ben, turned into a few crackers, and then a handful of trader joes mini chocolate chip cookies, and then another cracker, and then a spoonful of peanut butter. I finally stopped myself there, but then wasnt hungry (and felt kind of sick) so I didnt eat my two afternoon medifast meals... ate dinner, and then decided "WELL IVE ALREADY F'D Up" cause thats how my fat girl inside thinks... so I decided to eat 2 fig newtons that Ive been lusting after for the past month when I give them to my kids for snacks, followed by a LARGE chunk of dark chocolate *sigh*

SHAME ON ME!!!!! Its alright though. Its not the end of the world. I will NOT give food any power over me. Its just food... food is food is food. The most it can do is cause you to not lose, lose a little, or gain... its just food! I am officially brushing myself off, and getting back on the horse. Tomorrow is a new day, with only medifast in it LOL!!!

We're all fat cause we eat bon bons right?

I find it quite amusing that when people find out you are losing weight, or on a diet they are FULL of advice for you... as if you have NEVER heard of this before and have no clue what the "right" way to lose weight is. Naturally thin people must assume we dont know, cause if we did... we wouldnt be fat right?? So, we must sit around and eat junk food all day... thats why we are fat right??

It couldnt possibly be that this "fat person" has done it the right way, and it just doesnt work. Yeah it works for you, cause you weigh 120 soaking wet... If your biggest "fat size" was smaller than my "skinniest" size there obviously is a difference.

GENETICS..... aaaaaaaaaaaah yes... Some of us are DOOMED to be fat, no matter what we do. YES we can fight it, and live our lives barely eating, and spending every waking moment exercising, but chances are... we will ALWAYS be a bit plump.

You can tell someone who is naturally skinny, from someone who has weight issues simply by how skinny they are. A person who is genetically predispositioned to be overweight, will always be a bit plumper than their peers... whereas those who are a bit fluffy cause they dont work out, and eat a bit too much pizza, can quickly drop it and be as thin as a dancer.

Im ecstatic that exercising and eating healthy worked for you... well guess what? It didnt work for me... Its my turn to find something that works for ME!!!!! So how about a little support?? ;)

Long week

Well Ive had a LONG week here... full of drama, and hunger.

Got kicked out of a mom group that I have been a part of since moving down here, AND accused of lying to everyone LMAO (SIGH) And started my diet of course.

Everythings been going great with the diet... I had a rough day on day 4. For some reason I was all depressed and wanted to give up. (I didnt though) the thoughts going through my mind were soooo depressing, but apparently it must have been part of the detox, cause I woke up the day after feeling perfectly fine... (and grateful that I hadnt eaten something I shouldnt have the night before) Im on day 5 today, with my first weigh in coming on Sunday. Im super excited (snuck a peek at the scale early yesterday, and was down 9 lbs) I cant wait to see what Im down on Sunday.

Today is Olivias birthday which means cake and ice cream tonight, but I will not be having any, nor will I partake in the takeout dinner. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels. ;)